Encouraging independence was a huge help with our twins, and it was a total life saver when their little brother was born two years later. It was a bit more work upfront but well worth the time it saved me once they got going. I also found that they really enjoyed having a bit more control over the smaller decisions in their life which led to less tantrums. It was a win, win for everyone. Everyone is different and there are pros and cons for all decisions, but I think that encouraging independence with our kids has helped our family tremendously. The following include some of our family’s favorite ways to have our kids help out and to encourage them to be more independent and responsible individuals.
Ways to Encourage Independence
Put their kitchen items where they can reach, so that they can get their own bowls, plates, cups, and silverware. I started this one quite early on. The kids were able to pick out their own dishes, clean up their dishes after meals, and help put their clean dishes away.
Set up a snack station. We do mostly produce snacks, so I set up all of the fridge snacks in clear tubs in the door of our fridge that way the kids can reach and pick out their own snacks. I also set up a snack bin for pantry snacks and bananas. This was especially helpful when their baby brother came and the girls were able to ask and then get their own snacks. I do try to minimize snacks before and after meals though, so that they will actually eat their meals.
Let them feed themselves. We have never fed any of our kids because they all fed themselves. We chose to do baby led weaning. There are quite a few resources online in addition to the Baby Led Weaning book and cookbook. We started with banana, sweet potato, and avocado and went from there. The first few times they just played with their food, but they were just learning to figure it out. From there, they worked through learning how to chew and swallow all of their food on their own. I loved doing baby led weaning for so many reasons including that we were able to all eat as a family and enjoy our meals while feeding ourselves. Meal times were actually enjoyable. It also simplified the entire meal process because they were eating foods that we were eating instead of us buying and preparing separate foods for them. They were able to experience and enjoy a variety of flavors and textures right from the beginning. It is a decision that worked well for our family, but definitely do your research and do what works for you and your family.
Set up a clothing system that they can help maintain and use on a daily basis.
In the beginning, I spent quite a bit of time folding, refolding, and then refolding their clothes again. When I say quite a bit of time, I mean ALL THE FREAKING TIME. It was a vicious cycle that never seemed to end. After many weeks of this, I finally decided to stop wasting my time. I placed 4 baskets in the girls’ closet and I stopped folding their clothes…..I repeat I STOPPED FOLDING THEIR CLOTHES! It was life changing and gave me a few extra HOURS in my week. There was and still is a basket for dresses, shirts, pants, pajamas. They can pick out their clothes, dress themselves, and best of all help put their own laundry away. There are nice items that we do choose to hang. I’m sure at some point our system will change, but for now, it is working wonders and saving me a heck of a lot of time.
Let your kids help with household tasks. Laundry, feeding the dog, cleaning up, etc. My kids do love to help with the laundry that we do fold, like towels. They have gotten very good at folding towels. They also love to help out with various household tasks. If they want to help out with something, I usually let them. If nothing else, at least they are learning and practicing a life skill instead of causing mischief or making an additional mess. Use a towel to help clean up a spill.
Go through the day constantly asking yourself if the task is something that they can do on their own or at least help with. It is amazing how quickly they turn into such capable little beings. We’ve all seen how quickly they can undo something or make a massive mess, so we might as well use that energy for something productive. There is so much that they can do on their own and that they can do to help out around the house. Let them. It will make you both happier.
